Broken #3: but … he slapped me

First, I would love to express a hearty ‘thank you’, wrapped with loads of kisses to Fisayomi Ajayi for accepting to share this story with us. I must say this, Fisayomi is one of OAU’s most beautiful ladies. She models too. Who would know she, at some point, had something like this going with her. And she is just one of plenty others. Ooh . . plus me. That makes two. I would like you to read this with an open mind. It blessed me. On this premise, i’m giving Fisayo the floor:

“I have been at places in my life where I had hit rock bottom. I mean bottom. Plup. Nothing underneath. I think everyone around me had decided and agreed I had particular responses to these various stimuli. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure my friends can tell you exactly how I would react to particular statements. Don’t get me wrong, I am not predictable. I can be sarcastic, dramatic, open minded one minute and annoyingly secretive the next. However, there are these particular circumstances that just show up and they always get me reacting the same way. Always. After a while, I just aligned to it. I agreed I had to let those feelings rule. I’d put it under, I thought. I don’t have to make everyone know how I feel. I’m tough. I can deal with this. But the truth was I wasn’t dealing with anything. I was covering up a lot of stuff, yes, but definitely not dealing.
I remember one particular sermon my pastor preached. His name is Dapo Jegede. He talked about how we react when the devil tickles us. He cited an example of roommates who would steal each other’s bucket of water and how the victim would flair up. He advised next time instead of flaring up, we could just do something different, and say God bless you or something. I remember sitting in the congregation and thinking “Nobody can do that and even if they do, they are just pretending”.God probably smiled to Himself and decided to show me instead. And He did.
A friend of mine once told me life always brought you back around in circles to the lessons you had met before but refused to learn. God did just that for me. A lot of times I did not get how I had to be the one that was being nice. I mean I was the victim afterall. It was sad I saw myself as the victim all the time so I’d just “soak it up and be strong” when something tough comes along. But there was something I needed to learn and slowly but surely, God brought me to it.
First, He rocked my world. Totally threw me off balance, and like a game of chess, I just moved another pawn, thinking “Nice move but I’m better”How He must have been humoured. I think we went round like this for a while, He shifting something away from me and I turning to the next thing that was going to hurt me. A lot of times, I just waited outside His Holy abode and got angry when He didn’t show up. He always made sure I knew He loved me, but He was never going to compromise His standard to accommodate me.
It took a while, I must tell you. I got hurt, bruised, bled out on that pavement a million times, joined the wrong wagon that would take me all around town, poison me, tear my skin and dump me somewhere in the city of sin and infidels. Then I’d crawl all the way back outside His abode but when He opens the door for me to enter, I’d refuse and stay out.A lot of days, it rained. And even when the sun came out, it was scorching. Nothing good ever lasted forever out there, because in all honesty they weren’t good. They were painted cans of rubbish.
It took a while, but I finally glanced at that door and decided to go ask why it was always open to me. I don’t know if I got it at first. But one thing registered.
I never had seen glory so intense. I decided to stay a bit and eventually I realised the idea of holding on to my standard was pure stupid. I had been misled for so long.He was the standard. He always had been. And He was willing to help me reach HimIt never occured to me that way. I had always just seen Him as a judge, just interested in pointing out what was wrong. So yes, He finally brought me to these lessons. I needed Him. Full stop. I had to have Him.I looked around that amazing presence. I thought why not stay a while? It can’t be worse than it is out there. So I stayed. And I have never looked back.

3

I needed to explain what I was feeling. I could not exactly put a finger to it. When I started writing this, I was not exactly sure what message I intended to pass across. I think I have got it now.
It is amazing how much work God can do inside of you if you just let Him. You become an entirely different person. You definitely won’t have envisioned it, where you can be, what level you can get to. You know all those detergents’ advertisements, where they show you this extremely horrible piece of clothing and then apply a bit of their formula, the clothing all of a sudden becomes brand new.Apply this formula. It never fails. Scripture tells us that he sanctifies us by washing.
THAT HE MIGHT SANCTIFY AND CLEANSE HER WITH THE WASHING OF WATER BY THE WORD(Eph 5:26) NKJVIn essence, you stay in there, you get out of your normal human reactions. It would take a while, we are not a “Klin” advert, but eventually we do.

Life slaps you a lot of times, troubles do, trials do. But get this straight. YOU.ARE.NOT.A.VICTIM.
And there’s a way out. There’s a way to be exactly like Him. Through a constant renewing.
DON’T BECOME SO WELL-ADJUSTED TO YOUR CULTURE THAT YOU FIT INTO IT WITHOUT EVEN THINKING. INSTEAD, FIX YOUR ATTENTION ON GOD. YOU’LL BE CHANGED FROM THE INSIDE OUT. READILY RECOGNISE WHAT HE WANTS FROM YOU, AND QUICKLY RESPOND TO IT. UNLIKE THE CULTURE AROUND YOU, ALWAYS DRAGGING YOU DOWN TO IT LEVEL OF IMMATURITY, GOD BRINGS THE BEST OUT OF YOU, DEVELOPS WELL-FORMED MATURITY IN YOU.Roman 12: 2 (MSG)
Isn’t that just beautiful?
In all these, I am just scratching the surface. It would take about two books to go deep into the different things I mentioned in here but take them as thoughts, impressions, and maybe guidelines.”

And there you have it >> Fisayomi’s story, which only complements all of mine. Till later then, God can fix you, if you let Him. His arms of love wide open to receive, if you would just for a minute let yourself be embraced. I’m still here … Will be here if you need any help. To reach me personally, send me a message >> mails4tirzah@gmail.com. Will even drop my number, should need be.

With love,
Tirzah.

If it's worth sharing, spread it.

Author: Seun Olagunju

Just a simple 23 year old all out to making an impact.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *