Heeeellllo you! I hope you are fine. Personally, I’m not. Something happened this morning that kinda weighed me down. So, I was critiqued on something I do with all my heart and it really pained me. However, I’m learning that sometimes, on our journey to becoming excellent at work, fulfilling purpose, being great spouses to someborri or great parents, we’ll get critiqued and corrected (maybe even on the things we thought we were doing right). It is so so easy to get weighed down but lets learn instead to work round these feelings, take corrections, apply them and use them to our advantage. Wow! so much for a digression! Oya, let’s get right into today’s question: Why Am I Doing The Things I’m Doing?
In case you missed it, I’ve been teaching on those questions we should ask ourselves in living a life of purpose. I already answered two – the first on knowing what you should be doing and the second on whether or not you are qualified to do these things. This one is the third.
Seriously guys, shey you know too much of looking at what others are doing on social media can force you into starting something as well? Hmmn, lately, I’ve had to sit myself down and question exactly what my motives are for doing certain things.
Some months ago, just after the launch of the #IAmBeautiful Campaign, I started thinking of what I’d like to do for my 21st birthday in October. I knew I wanted to do something for others, like organize an event in my house and have a couple of people come over. You know, we’ll gist, eat, watch impacting videos and talk on self esteem, etc. That sounds good, right? like what an impactful way to celebrate the big 21. However, there is one thing I failed to mention. You see, all these thoughts came running to me in July, around the time when there was so much publicity about the Beautified Network’s 2nd conference – Becoming. As a result of the event, I had been spending some much time on Mrs. Funto Ibuoye’s Instagram page, googling her and reading past interviews of her, etc. I was so inspired at how much she is doing, how much people love her and of course, the fact that she started small, like just inviting a couple of people over. To her house. To talk and have fun.
Some days later, after all the adrenaline of planning an event died down, I just started feeling somehow unsure about the whole thing. It had no defined purpose, it came with no divine leading and I suddenly realized that I wanted to do it because Funto was doing it. Now, what’s wrong with planning an event to impact people? Nothing but my why was wrong.
More recently, I got an invitation to speak to a couple of teenagers about Self Esteem. It was my first official invitation to speak to unfamiliar people and I was so excited about it. I really felt honored but I had not even left the bus when I started to think about the caption I’ll use on Instagram and facebook with my picture holding a mic, you know. smh, right? If I had accepted that invitation, right there and then, it would only be because I wanted to show off, because I wanted people to see I was also doing “great stuffs”, like “see me too” and maybe even intimidate a few people. That was so wrong! Thank God for the Holy Spirit, who immediately corrected me. I picked up my phone and I told the lady I would like some time to think and pray about it. All through the ride home, I kept talking to God about it and asking Him if He would have me go. I was so willing to drop it right there and then if God had said no.
You see, the thing with motives is that, we might not be able to stop those thoughts from coming but we can choose whether or not to act on them as they are. Ask me if I eventually went to speak to those beautiful teenagers about self esteem. Ask me. Yes, I did and trust me, the only reason you didn’t see the picture on Instagram was because the event was postponed. But did I now go so people can “see me too”? No. I checked my motives and made my decision all about God and the teens I was going to meet. That way, when the event didn’t hold, it didn’t pain me as much as it would have HURT if I had gone to boost my ego.
For Freebies Friday last week, I put this on my social media and a lot of people gave their opinions. Some of the answers were enlightening, some of them were logical but one thing I learnt from them is that “if the action is good, like it’s going to bless somebody else, do it anyway”, but (now this is my own stand), don’t do it without correcting your motives first. Always, always ask yourself why-
- why exactly are you planning that charity event?
- why exactly are you also writing a book?
- why exactly are you organizing your show?
- why are you also creating a network or a conference?
Why. The why question is really important, so we don’t lose out at the end of the day. Imagine if I kept giving food money to a beggar all so that the handsome guy next door can notice how kind and sweet I am. Of course, I’m helping the beggar, right? Yes, but what happens if the guy doesn’t notice me eventually? Please, have I not wasted my time and lost my money? I have.
Now, the “handsome guy” we should all be trying to please here is God. That’s why we are fulfilling this purpose, anyway. Over the weekend, I was studying proverbs and I learnt that God actually looks beyond the action into the heart. That’s what measures your reward. That’s what pleases Him. So, lets always check our motives. Don’t worry, the Holy Spirit is right there to always set us right and this is me praying that at the end of our journey to becoming, it’s all going to worth it.
Hope you learnt something today? If you want to talk to me, I’ll be right down with you in the comment box below and don’t forget to share this with your friends & family if you found it useful. Thank you.