Hi guys, today, I’m going to be sharing a friend’s story with you. Her name is Abiodun and she is a colleague at work. I must say this, Abiodun was really keen on my posting her story, partly because she wanted to promote the beautified campaign with it and partly because, she too has been through her own share of insecurities and low self esteem as a result of her complexion and would like to share her confidence story with someone going through similar experiences. Truth is, I thought I read it all with Tife’s story but that is so not true. Before you begin to read her story, I’d like to add that Abiodun is really one of the most confident people I’ve met in my life. She just knows how to wade off negative comments before they get to her. I admire that a lot, just as I admire the lady herself. Thank you, Abiodun. On this note, here is her story:
“My complexion has been one of the few things I wish I could change about myself. I am dark skinned coupled with the fact I’m slim and one can literally draw a bucket of water from the wells of my clavicles. It’s not as if I am as dark as charcoal or the underneath of a pot o but still, I used to feel insecure about myself. It used to hurt that I don’t get to wear clothes with the kind of colours I like.
At first, I was not so conscious of my skin colour until I gained admission and I started making friends that are light skinned, chocolate, a few dark skinned and whatever other skin colour that one can think of. I didn’t really like taking pictures with my friends in the dark because they felt I might spoil their pictures, so sometimes I’d just simply say “You guys should go ahead and snap the picture, I won’t show.” Other times, when I did muster courage to snap with my friends, I got comments like”Lara I can’t see your face, I can only see your teeth”. That sounds bad right? I used to feel bad about it and felt like lighting up my skin a bit but I didn’t have the nerves to do such. I was almost certain my parents will definitely stop being one to me.
At the time the thought of bleaching my skin crossed my mind, I was so intimidated but then I realized that while a dark skinned lady can bleach her skin, a bleached person can never be dark once bleached. That basically scratched the thought from my mind.
I was interested in photo shoot modelling but I was discouraged because most comments I get from peeps are not so encouraging and also because I feel that light skinned girls are more perfect than dark skinned ladies for such things. Back then when I was in school, I used to have a course mate who is a guy, a bit light skinned and whenever he wants to bully me, he just comes around in the midst of my friends; touches my skin like he wants to taste something and say; “wow! She didn’t stain me; I thought she can stain me with her colour”. It may sound like a joke to him and everyone around can laugh it off but I could read different meanings to it.
Over times, I appreciated myself more; Unlike most light-skinned, I don’t have any issue trying to maintain my skin. I can use any cream or soap to bath. If I have a scar on my body, it won’t be noticeable because I’m dark. I stopped feeling intimidated when I began to realize that I am beautiful with or without my complexion. Before I left school, I waseven nominated as one of the most beautiful girls in my department; That meant a lot to me. I felt so proud of my complexion, so elated!
My complexion is so much of an asset now. On several occasions, I would be walking on the road and hear people call me ‘’African princess, black beauty, black diamond; although no one notices that I blush, I do and I’m learning daily to appreciate myself more. Sometimes, people just walk up to me and ask me what kind of cream I use and I just smile; cos I don’t even use cream. Immediately I bath, use slight make up, I’m out. the only cream I use, if I want to cream at all is my hair cream. Funny right! I also can’t remember how many times my transport fare was paid by strangers that say I like your skin, please don’t bleach. Not like I planned to anyway, (LOL) and I have made a lot of friends that way.
So, guys, there we’ve heard it again. Personally, I am so glad these amazing ladies have come out to share their confidence stories. I would like to clarify something here though, in no way am I attempting to diss light skinned ladies or the sort with these posts. As observed, most of these stories have been birthed out of personal experiences with insecurities and a low self esteem and they are aimed towards helping you also accept yourself the way you are.
No matter how you look, especially if you were born with it, like your skin colour, height or even a deformity arising from some childhood disease, you can also embrace yourself and stand out in your uniqueness. That’s simply my message. Looks like a long journey? but breathe, look in the mirror, smile at yourself and blow yourself a kiss….that’s a good way to start. Also remember that you are not alone on this and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I am right here.
Finally, for a sneak peek into what’s left of July, I’ve got two more beautified stories to share with you guys. We’ll move into more practical things in August. Till then, can you relate with Biodun’s story? Still battling with insecurities about your body? let me know by dropping it in the comment box below.
PS: The #IamBeautiful Campaign is still on. You can check out my instagram and facebook page for updates. #muah!