4 Reasons You Are Still Addicted to Something You Really Want To Stop.

I have chosen to title this ‘3 Reasons you are Still Addicted to Something You Really Want to Stop.’ because the reasons I shared here apply to all forms of addictions. I have however chosen to emphasize masturbation because, as some of you know, that is the one addiction I struggled with.

I have told you guys about it before, in this article, where I shared my struggle, how I was able to overcome it and the lessons I picked up from the experiences afterwards.

When I first shared my story, a number of people contacted me – they told me about how they too were struggling with their own addictions – gambling, porn – and how they badly wanted to stop. Of course, typical me, ‘the girl who had overcome her own addiction’, I was so quick to tell them what to do and even made myself some sort of accountability partner who would check up on them and ensure that they do not slip back into what they were trying to rise from.

However, something else was happening to me, which I couldn’t tell anyone. I found that once again, I was beginning to open myself up to a lot of sexual content and at those times, when my mind was idle, I would imagine the things I had read in that novel or watched in that movie. Before long, I found myself thinking of doing the exact same thing I had stopped – that I had told everyone I had stopped – and one night, I did it again. It started with me thinking ‘well, since I was more grown up, I would be able to control it and it would not be as addictive as the last time.’ That was a lie, because that one day led to other days after that.

The only difference was that this time, I was perfectly in control of my mind and my body. I knew what I was doing. I knew it was wrong. I knew I could have controlled it, if I wanted but I didn’t want to because somehow, I liked it and this made it even worse.

It is important that I say this. Sex in itself is a good thing. Very pleasurable, which is why if you do it once, it is very difficult to not want to do it again. The devil also knows this and that’s why he uses sex a lot, as a tool to get us distracted as {young} Christians. We think it is okay to have sex before marriage, simply because everybody else is doing it or that it is okay to masturbate, at least you are not actually sleeping with anybody, right? No, it is not okay. Sex in itself is a good thing, but if you are doing something wrong, you would know, especially if you have the Holy Spirit inside of you.

The shame, of course, comes after – you begin to beat yourself up for not listening to that voice that was telling you not to do it. You begin to feel afraid that because you have displeased God, He is going to take His calling away from you. Worse still, you begin to wonder if you should even ask for forgiveness – if that is not you taking God’s Grace for granted, because didn’t you ask for forgiveness the last time? How come you did it again?

But the shame you see is not even enough to hold you down, because being an addiction means that the next time the thoughts of doing it again comes into your mind, you will do it.

Now, why am I telling you this? I don’t know. I honestly didn’t even think it was time for me to share that story with you but on Friday, on my way to work, the urge to share it was just so impressed on my heart, I figured there has to be someone who needed to read it. So, if you are here and you are struggling with an addiction, any addiction, but you don’t know why despite trying so hard, you still haven’t stopped, here are 4 things I’m going to share with you from my experience.

  • You are clay. You cannot fix yourself:

I read somewhere in the Bible that we, as humans, are earthen vessels of clay. Over the years, I have also come to realize that of all the things an object could be made out of; wood, plastic, titanium, metal, stone, rock, rubber, or skin, objects made of clay are the most vulnerable to being broken.

This means that no matter how perfect you and I try to be, because we are clay, we can break. However, when a clay pot breaks, it doesn’t fix itself, does it? No. It takes a potter to do that.

Now, all of that is to say this. The reason you are probably still struggling with that addiction is because you are trying so hard to fix yourself.

You have to let God fix you.

And just in case you need this reminder, I will tell you – God loves you. Despite everything, God really, really loves you and He wants to fix you.

Despite everything, God really, really loves you and He wants to fix you.

Ask Him to help you by His Spirit, then take your focus off the addiction (focusing on it magnifies it) and focus on understanding and consuming yourself instead, with how much God loves you. As it was in my case, the day you stop, you really would not know.

  • You probably still like what you are doing, anyway.

Another reason why you haven’t stopped is because you probably still like what you are doing.

Like I have learnt, God’s Spirit works on a willing heart. It’s like saying ‘Father, take this thing away from me, but can you hold on a bit, I still want it.’

What this means is that, you could be praying about it, asking God to help you and all but if you are not being genuinely sincere about wanting to stop, you will keep going back to it.

Now, on to third reason you are probably still struggling with that addiction?

  • You don’t have even have a relationship with God, in the first place:

This of course scratches out the first two and I have included this because if you do have a genuine relationship with God – one in which you get to spend time with Him consistently and have grown to know God and to love Him, you would get to a point where you just would not want to displease Him.

This would become your primary motivation for wanting to stop.

I’ll tell you this. The more you spend time with God, the less magnified your addiction becomes. And as it was with me, before long, this addiction that seems so powerful now, so consuming, would suddenly become very insignificant and definitely not worth jeopardizing the relationship that you have with God or the beautiful life that He has planned for you over.

  • Finally, you still let junks into your mind.

Growing up, I really loved to read romance novels. I mean, who doesn’t like romance? But they were the reason I got addicted to masturbation in the first place. I have found that I am a very sensitive person, especially when it comes to sexually related things. In order then to stop, I knew that I had stop letting some things into my mind.

I would not even lie to you – this was like one of the hardest things ever. I found it extremely hard to say no when a friend says ‘Seun, I have some new harlequin novels. Would you like to read them?’ but I knew what they did to me and I knew that the more I read them, the more likely I was to remain addicted to masturbation, even though I was praying to stop.

It’s the same with you. When you look closely, you’d find that there are certain things you are letting into your mind that tempt you and the thing with your mind is that, once it’s in there, it’s hard for it not to play out in the physical.

So, this is the final thing I’ll say to you today. You need to watch the things you let into your mind. Like guard it jealously. I remember a friend telling me once that what tempts him the most was going through his Instagram Explore page and seeing posts that were so sexually graphic. I mean, that is something that he really couldn’t control, right? It wasn’t even like he was following those pages. But, while he might not be able to avoid Instagram or stop those posts from creeping into his Explore feeds, he can stop clicking on them. That would take discipline and self-control – and those are two attributes we need to cultivate in guarding our minds against junks.

These are the four things I have to share with you today, guys. I hope that you found this helpful. If you did, share something you learnt with me in the comments. Also, if you’ve had any addiction experience as well and you don’t mind sharing, please I want to hear all about it. How did it stop eventually?

One last thing, if there is someone you think should read this, kindly share.

Till later, guys. I love you.


pS: the next time you find yourself going back there, remember that God loves you. so much.

I really should go now. Talk to you guys later.

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Author: Seun Olagunju

I'm just a simple 24-year-old girl, living for One and working to make the world a better place than I met it. I love to teach and tell stories, which is what I do as a blogger. I'm also the founder of Beyond the Surface Development Initiative. There, I reach out to teenagers by educating and empowering them, with an aim to curb the increasing number of teenage pregnancies and school drop-outs in Nigeria. When I'm not writing or involved in a social project, I work as a Product Manager with a tech firm in Lagos, Nigeria.

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